#MeToo: A Cheat Sheet

Systemic sexism, harassment and assault is unfortunately very common in the world. So common that it has been normalised to a point of “Eh, happens to everyone”. We have forgotten that this is not normal, and it makes me see red and I want to angry-punch a wall. You should too.

Before the vultures descend, let me say that this doesn’t happen only to women, men go through this as well and it is equally repulsive. Seeing the posts along with this hashtag has only made me angrier because it shows how many friends of mine, and strangers on the internet, have been through this traumatic experience. In the back of my mind, I have always known that they must have gone through this at some point in their life but I took this realisation, and buried it deep in my head somewhere. We don’t ask each other these questions because you don’t want the person you like so much to live through it all over again.

In my twenties, I have been more willing to talk about it because I understood that if I tell people my experiences, they will tell me theirs and together we can share the fact that it wasn’t our fault, we never asked for it and we never should feel ashamed. Then again, perverts don’t wait for you to grow up so that they can assault you, they attack kids who don’t even understand that what happened to them was bad, they just know that it was… not right. 

In India, the land of “log kya kahenge?”, it takes even more courage for people to come forward with their stories to their friends and families, let alone on Facebook where 700+ people will be seeing your post and judging you for it. It is not only women who are using this hashtag, men have been talking about it as well. In fact, more Indian men have used this hashtag as compared to the women. For people who don’t know what to do with these #MeToo posts, here is a guide for you:

Origins of #MeToo

Harvey Weinstein being a Grade A pervert came to light when a few brave women spoke up about his sickening behaviour throughout the years. Famous actresses talked about their horror stories with him and other predators. Terry Crews posted an entire thread about his assault story. Alyssa Milano tweeted a photo regarding this situation and wrote, “If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted write ‘me too’ as a reply to this tweet.”

Who is using #MeToo

Survivors of sexual harassment and assault.

Why are they using #MeToo

It is a social media campaign and effort to raise awareness about the magnitude of sexual harassment and assault faced by people on a daily basis. It has also been helping people come forward with their own experiences without any shame or guilt.

Why they are definitely NOT using #MeToo

To gain sympathy points. They can get that by faking an ouchie any time of the day.

To showcase themselves as victims. No one wants to be victimised.

To seek attention. Just…no.

To make men feel bad. It is not men v women. Yes, there are good men and bad men. Just like there are good women and bad women.

How you should respond/react to #MeToo:

Listen to their experiences.

Understand what they have been through.

Let the awfulness of it sink in.

Let the enormity of it sink in.

How you should NOT respond/react to a #MeToo post

Don’t judge. That is why they haven’t come forward before.

Don’t call them Feminazis. They are not doing this to put anyone down.

Don’t suggest “get over it”. No one gets over it, they learn to live with it.

Don’t say “why didn’t you tell anyone?”. Because they knew they would be judged, taken lightly, would get the response “ye sab toh hota rehta hai”. Or they might have been kids when it happened.

Don’t suggest they “man up”. That literally makes no sense.

Don’t crack jokes at their expense. It takes a lot of courage to even speak up.

Of course, you are a boiling pot of shocked, sad and angry when you see this hashtag being used by people you love on your timeline. You should be.  We are all in this together against a common enemy. We need to tackle this problem together without victim blaming and normalising predatory behaviour. Don’t make them presidents. Don’t worship them like they are God. I hope this helped people who were lost in the ocean of #MeToo.

To the creepy men- women talk to each other about you.

We know.