Sunday, 19 July 2015

I Never Complain




Hello everyone,

Underneath a cool as a cucumber and youthful appearance, a twenty- something year old girl with no other work accepts that she is secretly a fossil. Very willingly, she told me about all of her complaints against the big, bad world as she offered me hard candy and cleaned her glasses.




- Grammar Nazis. (Please buy yourself a life.)

- “I like cleanliness which means I have OCD and I’m so quirky! Likemelikemelikeme!”

-The word, “friendzone”.

- This <insert a lackluster photo of a naked celebrity> LITERALLY broke the internet.

- Articles starting with "So-and-so-celebrity does NOT look like this anymore"

- Articles like "you know you are an ambivert with two eyes who lives in Asia and drinks milk when you do the following unexciting things".

- Articles along the lines of "wait for the boy who sweeps you off your feet".

- Dubsmash

- Dubstep

- The Kardashian/ Jenner clan

- Treating Caitlin Jenner like the bravest person since the girl who first tried on polka dots.

- Gym selfies.

- Selfie sticks. (I really will smack you with it before you poke someone’s eye out.)

- "I just bought a DSLR camera so I am now a world class photographer. Do it without auto mode? I don't understand..."

- "I AM a model"

- "I AM a writer" 

- "I am vegan now."

- "Still a better story than Twilight." (This joke is very 5 years ago.)

- #bae #nofilter #Iluvyoubae #mwah #frendz_fur_life #idontknowhowhastagswork

- Political correctness, also known as bitching about everything under the sun because fuck freedom of speech, that’s why.

- "I hate men! God, I am such a feminist. Off to burn my bra now."

- Meninism

- Real girls have curves.

- Kale is a super-food. No, avocado is a super-food.

- Your skinny jeans will kill you. (They won’t kill you unless you are a size 32 trying to fit into a size 24.)

- People who start the conversation with a killer ice breaker: “you are fat now.” (Well, you are ugly.)

- People whining and making lists about other people whining.


 Moo x

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